My Therapist During One of Our Sessions Said I Need to Be a Child Again

I need to learn to trust people again, I need to let people in, the way kids openheartedly do. He said I have darting eyes, that I need to allow my eyes focus and be calm around people.
Honestly, I really knew he was right. I'm unsteady, a bit unhinged around people(I hide it well, you have to be quite observant to notice it).

People see me and think, "this girl bares it all, she's trusting". Truth is, I do not bare it all because I am trusting, no I am not. I do not bare it all basically to give people hope(it might be one of the reasons). I bare it all because somehow, it helps me exhale.

It takes away that fear that someone would find out my dirty secrets and use them against me. So this is me, taking that ammunition out of your hands. It's no longer a dirty secret. I am #bipolar. And I suffer from that #bipolar a@ffective disorder. So he was really right. I did not get enough time to really be a child.

It's the reason why I seemingly aged beyond my years mentally. Right now, I stopped being a #child at 8. I lost that trust in humans, in the power of l0ve, in life. I left childhood too early. And even with all my "teddy talk" and playfulness, I have never returned. Childhood is a foreign land we long for after we've left.

A blissful place. Try as much as possible to hold on to the bits you can hold on to. Try as much as you can to trap bits of that era even as life tries to drain you of it. Find reasons to laugh more, to play more, to live more, to love more. Hold on to even a little bit of the child in you. As always, this woman loves you all.