"Can There Be Two Captains In A Ship?" Must Read

No, there can't. You're right. But calm down... Baba, when you were going to toast that babe did you wear a military uniform? You tell her say you be sailor? You were even buying suya and eating the onions while feeding her the meat. By that time you never become captain, you still be ship hand.

Marriage is not a contract of ownership. When done right, it is a contract between two consenting adults, who in all lucidity decide they want to spend their lives together. It is an arrangement for which the love that made you eat onions instead of meat, as well as a mutual respect for the humanity of you and your wife, should be enough to hold.

If you ever find the need to establish ranks in your relationship there is clearly a breach. If you ever find a need to hand down rules and regulations within this arrangement, to live with this person who you love, there is clearly a breach.

Some of the best relationships we build as men, are with other men. For years you've got along with your paddy, without established ranks. The guiding cords in that friendship have always been - love and respect. No captain in that ship, yet it sailed. Love and respect.

"But if you give women chance, they will take chances...you know women na."Why do you want to be with a woman who'd be taking chances? If the essence of a leash is to keep her from straying, get a woman who won't stray, who won't need a leash to be where you desire. Use courtship to find that woman, not just to be counting rounds of s €×.

In this economy, getting a leash could be expensive. Cut that cost. There is a certain beauty and freedom a sense of partnership in every relationship brings. You feel that beauty when your girlfriend asks you, 'Baby I want to start a new business, what do you think?' You know that beauty when your man says, 'Baby, I want to replace my smelling boxers, what do you think?'
You see that beauty? It is the hallmark of partnership.

If you find an overarching need to establish ranks within an entity that should be founded on love and respect, then there is clearly something wrong. Ranks may inspire order on the outside but they can easily bear resentment and fear on the inside...and these two can only remain innocuous for so long.

Unless your dream is the military or a seat in a cockpit at sea, why are you eager to be named 'Captain', when it is enough to be 'Husband' and 'Father'?

Search Tags:  Marriage, Husband, Father, Captain, Partnership, Relationship