Isn't life too short to put up with so much humiliation from someone who is supposed to love and protect you? I dread getting old (end of my life) only to realize that I have spent a better part of my only shot at life on earth allowing myself to suffer needlessly and be humiliated.
I stayed with a woman who was being abu$ed almost daily. Her husband took her to the village for r!ituals, she escaped. There was a family meeting and they settled. Imagine. Next thing the man comes home with Hepatitis B, claiming he got it from the lab he worked and the woman still stayed. What else did she want as evidence?
She was scared dat the society will mock her and how will she fend for herself? The man tried by ALL means to infect her. Infact, it was my presence that stopped a lot of things. At a point, I told the woman I was going. I just could not continue. It's a slave mentality, a fear of the unknown that keeps someone in such a state
Loads of people who stay in abusive relationships do so for some reasons.
1. The children: They can't look after the children alone... financially.
2. They don't want people to call them divorcee. You know the "what will people say" factor.
3. They are financially dependent on their abusers.
Solutions or mitigation
1. Strive to make sure you can take care of your children ALONE, even while married. Besides the eventuality of needful divorce; death of spouse, incapacitation of spouse, absenteeism of spouse can leave you as a lone parent. Plan for these. Yeah, they may end up not happening, but it's wise to plan ahead for the evil days.
2. Forget about what society will say. People will always talk, so why not suit yourself and let them do the talking. They will still talk even though you don't suit yourself anyway.
3. Ideally, it shouldn't be. But in reality, financial independence saves a lot of bullshits. The need for financial independence cannot be overemphasized. Even though you want to be a stay-at-home parent, MAKE SURE YOU ARE EARNING WHILE AT HOME.
We deal with imperfect HUMANS. The only guarantee is that which you can do for yourself. Live life to the fullest. Take away anything that will cause you needless pains. Be happy. .. be happy. .. I said be happy!!!
Love with all your heart, but make sure you get love back in return. Because love us worth when given away, comes right back to the giver. It's ok to be vulnerable sometimes, but never let people take you for granted.
Take calculated risks.
Sweat, but make sure the dividend and expected end is worth it. Even in this ev!il world full of wickedness, you can still create a little paradise for yourself... maybe if you try. It's been a hell of a busy day at work, just thought I should drop this.
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