I Had First Carryover in Pharmaceutical Studies Ahmadu Bello University Zaria

I remember when I had my first carryover in the school of pharmaceutical studies, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. I actually thought I was going to die because of the pain I was feeling. I moved around like a widow. I would hide myself in deserted buildings and cry from morning till night. For two days, I refused to eat anything.

I stopped picking my parents’ calls because I couldn't even imagine telling them that I had failed at school. So I continued to cry and starve myself. I was having a new experience in my life- that of failure. I grew up being the best in everything and was always at the top of my class effortlessly. In fact, years after I left secondary school, I met one of my teachers who asked me,
“Hope you’re still carrying on your legacy of profound academic excellence?”

And the thing with pharmacy school is that our courses are linked in such a way that failing a single course (even in your first year) can give you an automatic extra year. It doesn’t even matter if your GPA is 4.89. They are called prerequisites. We even had courses that you could only pass with an A or a B. C was a fail.

And we didn't have “resits” or summer school- a chance to stay back and rewrite those courses at the end of the semester or session when your mates are at home. Nah. You just have to wait an entire year to retake the frigging course! When I finally spoke to my dad that first time, he said, “I know you've never failed at anything before and this must feel like your entire world just crumbled. But you’ve to get up and try again. You'll be fine.”

Damn. Pharmacy school didn't get any easier. The lectures from morning till evening all through the week except on Sundays, the millions of tests, assignments and practicals we had to run... I watched my colleagues getting withdrawn left, right and centre. People were taking drugs, caffeine to stay awake and read through the night. One of my classmates nearly lost his mind because he was smoking marijuana just so he could keep up with his study load.

At the time, if there was any attempted suic!ide incident in ABU, Zaria, that person was most likely a pharmacy student. There was even a case of a guy who threw himself from the third floor of Suleiman hostel upon seeing his results. I learnt how to cram in pharmacy school.

I realized that my method of studying to learn was holding me back because all some of the lecturers wanted to see was exactly what they taught you. And there were courses you had no choice but to cram- all those diagrams, chemical structures, dates and classifications. If you’re bad at cramming in pharmacy school, you’ll fail woefully.

But then at the back of your mind, you're expected to have an understanding of all you are being taught nonetheless. Because in your final year, you would be required to remember all you have been taught from your first or second year to pass most of your courses. What am I trying to say?

I learnt how to look failure in the eye and tell it I wasn’t backing down come what may because of ABU, Zaria. Trust me, failure was and is still one of my greatest fears. In fact it is my biggest driving force. But I learnt to turn failure into a goldmine. I allowed it to remould me and refine me. I’m stronger and better today because I know what it means to fall but not to stay down.

I know that failure can do one of two things to everyone of us- turn you into an even bigger failure or become the spring board to an even more amazing success story. I had colleagues in pharmacy school, Zaria who never recovered from their first set of carryovers. They became so overwhelmed that they had to eventually leave.

That’s why I keep saying this- the power to be almost anything you want to be lies in your mind. If you can conquer your fears, you can conquer anything. But if you already feel defeated inside of you, there’s really no way you are going to succeed at any task.

So wake up every morning with a victorious attitude, tell yourself these words as often as possible, “I’m stronger/bigger than this challenge/phase/pain. This challenge/
phase/pain will only do one thing- make me better/stronger.” And then go right ahead to put in the needed effort required to achieve your goals or projects. Never forget- the power to change your story lies in your hands...