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Lai Mohamed: War Between Nigerians and Ghanaians



I really pity Minister Lai Mohammed. He, like most old people, is usually out touch with the realities of our times. And he, like most of them never goes on social media to know that there has been a war going on on internet between Nigerians and Ghanaians for some years now over who makes, of all things, the best Jollof Rice.

Not football and music anymore. We seemed to have given up on that. We now compete not on who has the best technology, makes the best schools, produce the most number professors, has the best scientists, buildings, makes the best cars, phones, motorcycles etc, but Jollof Rice.

We are both determined to prove our cultural superiority with that one menu. It is the only one that is not proven yet. Then Lai Mohammed happened, and on CNN of all networks. That lack of knowledge and of been out of touch with what goes on today is the reason why he put our dear Jollof rice down on international TV, that while we and Ghana fight for first place, it is Senegal that has the best Jollof. Chai, our own Minister of Labari and al'ada faaa!

He just hand the Jollof rice trophy to a non competing country. Baba Lai does not know how dear Jollof is to us. Kai! You see, in 2014, we in "the abroad" for a programme. After about a week of eating sugary and oily junk in one of the most hotel chains in the world, our people started complaining bitterly.

They all miss our traditional dishes. An option was to locate an African restaurant. But we cannot do that everyday. So, my good friend, Mr. Uche (top picture, right), our coordinator, pick a piece of paper, draw up a list of items and walk straight to the kitchen and handed it to them.

When he came back, I asked him what the list was about. He replied, "I wan teach them jollof rice". Dr. Saleeh Ibrahim laughed. But to my shock, after about an hour, a young lady came to our table to tell Uche that they are ready. They are that professional.

While we went back to continue our programme, Uche went straight to the kitchen. He taught them as best as he can. He said there will be a lot wastage. But they were determined. And two days later, we came down for lunch, and there it was on the buffet table, marked - "Nigerian Jollof Rice".

It was stayed that until we left. Everyday, we had an option of Jollof, along with tens of other things. Oyinbos were trying it too. The pride were on the faces of all 30+ of us. But about six months later I was back there again, and on the table was "African Jollof". I protested.

In fact, I demanded to see the manager. They explained that, they became good at it, and after we left some Africans protested that it was not a Nigerian dish. That it is their own. Of course, they are our rivals, the Ghanians. I asked them who taught them how to cook it, hitting them with the Uche card. Uche has earned me cultural capital and bragging right.

They reverted back to tagging it as "Nigerian Jollof". It is a joke that myself and Uche share, happilly, every time we are together. And I still call anytime I remember, to confirm if it is still Nigerian Jollof. Na so Jollof important to us. But now, Baba Lai don spoil am for us.

Baba just dashe the win and the bragging right to the Senegalese. This is a national scandal. I'm embarrassed. Can you imagine an Italian information minister saying another country's pizza or guacamole is better than Italy's? Baba Lai must apologize and then.... GO!

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