"Akpen's misfortune was a resounding clap in all four walls of the earth. The day he was born his both parents died mysteriously. Coming to this world we pass through a tunnel (v@agina), going out of this world we pass through a tunnel (grave) so we already know much about life and death. Akpen grew up br£astfeeding himself, eating palm kernel and sipping left over garri in the processing mill.
He was too poor that mosquitoes never sucked his blood at night cause they feared a drag of his blood will take him off the face of the earth like a blemish and his blood will be on their hands. Even the rats in his home never stole from him rather they joined forces with the king(the cat) to steal from the neighbors so Akpen could eat. 3 square meals to Akpen was such a luxury he could never afford through out his stay on earth.
Women never loved him, that means he never got kissed. He had $e × severally but only in his dreams. He grew up a bush hunter but he never caught or k!ll one in his lifetime. One day after returning from begging groundnut at Ouha Ezekiel's house he stumbled upon a mighty bag and in there was over 25 million naira; the same amount of money that makes adults feel like big brothers, walk semi nu**de, kemen each other while sleeping and bathing) n@ked on national TV screens.
Akpen the bad luck monger and the meek returned the bag of money worth over 25 million naira to the nearest police station (Atakpa police station). When God wants to bless a man he always works in a mysterious way, so Akpen was rewarded with a whopping sum of one thousand five hundred naira only.
He happily received the money and was cheerful about the sum of 1,500naira at last, that he didn't notice when the constable removed the money from his pocket. On getting home, he stopped by a shop and ordered for a loaf of bread, a tin of sardine, sachet water and a few other things like every other poor man would, as he ate his life away. After munching to his satisfaction, he dipped his hands into his pocket and found nothing to pay with, just then he gave the petty trader this pitiable look that acted as his unlucky life's biography.
The petty trader didn't take it kindly with Akpen so she raised a theft alert and in no time the jungle justice mob surrounded Akpen with tyres, containers of petrol and reserved firewood for sacrificial burning. In the angry mob consisted of the likes of Praise, Constance, Chike and Mary Williams who flogged the living daylight out of Akpen the misfortune.
The women forum was done meting out their gross punishments on the helpless Akpen as the representatives from the men forum which consisted of Duduo Tony and Michael took over and took turns in beating Akpen mercilessly to the point of stupor. Every bad luck has its ending day or so he heard. Akpen woke up on the nearby hospital bed the following day with a beating hangover, a bruised body, and a torn flesh.
He looked up to the sky and wondered why he was ever born if he was going to be a servant of misfortune for life, as he prayed for a new era. Just as he was praying, a neatly dressed postal agent walked in and handed over to him a well-wrapped envelope which contained his employment details, 50thousand naira note, and a complimentary card.
Akpen have been employed by the man who brought him to the hospital (the good Samaritan from Ibiono Ibom). The contract clause included a salary of 500 thousand nairas a month, a well-furnished house in a government residential area, a Formula One car and an option to get married to anyone at any time at the company's expense.
Akpen was delighted beyond the sky's liner even though that meant he had to move away from Calabar south to secure his newly found job at Uyo. Akpen was thankful, meek and enthusiastic already for the next events that followed suit. On the day of the journey, Akpen woke up before every cock in the world and reminded them to crow before it is dawn.
He boarded a shuttle from Atamunu by mount Zion to Etta Agbor hurriedly. He was all smiles and giggles as he stepped into the AKTC bus heading to Uyo. Akpen was already frozen 10 minutes inside before the journey began cause he has never been under an air conditioner in his lifetime until this time. The journey began, and a new life for Akpen equally began. No one ever thought he will be rich someday.
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He was the most neglected, most abused and was embraced by misfortune as his only true friend. The journey was an era of a new beginning to Akpen but just as they got to Calabar-Itu bridge, the AKTC bus carrying Akpan tumbled and fell 7 times over as I was counting from a distance. What a traumatic accident to be witnessed by anyone.
Everyone else in the bus survived unscratched but Akpan cause" The Meek shall inherit the earth" and the earth did Akpen inherit as he died a Meek man.
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