There's something I have noticed, maybe it's just human nature, but I find it a bit off. When people are upset about something, or going through stuff and they complain about it, maybe once, maybe repeatedly, some of us tend to tell them to stop complaining. Many of us want to be a judge of how people who are hur*ting or angry should express themselves.
We want to govern the reaction to a grief and burden that isn't ours to bear.
Truth is, sometimes we do not know why the person expresses himself or herself like this. We do not know what itches him or her. I've come to understand that people and situations are rarely entirely simplistic. And this definitely leads to differences in behavior, in perception, in understanding, in reaction.
Can we just let people be people? Can we let them grieve their own way? They are not broken the way you are. Yet, no hur*t is better than the other. Your pain doesn't dwarf theirs and theirs shouldn't dwarf yours. It's all a matter of personality, and capacity.
Everyone cannot be like you, keeping silent about everything. Heck, the only way some people keep living is because they get to vent, they get to rant. Call it unhealthy but they need it, it's their own healthy coping mechanisms.
If you are tired of their mode of grieving, maybe you could avoid them till they are done grieving. Don't go around feeling like a fixer. Sometimes all we need is someone who would listen, not some fixer who is in a hurry to see us shut up.
Most times, the only thing the fixer can achieve is making people suppress things for fear of being judged or seen as weak. Yet the real problem lies underneath, spreading till it becomes something way bigger.
Bottom line of all this seemingly disjointed rambling is, resist the urge to tell hur**ting people to shut up or to just get over it, let them express themselves. It is not your pain, it is theirs. Have a beautiful nice day. I do hope we'd be useful to ourselves more years coming.
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